FMUF – Be Nice

(This is very late and I’m Sorry)

Greetings and Salutations on this lovely Fuck-Me-Up Friday.

This week I have a story with a message attached to it.

Here we go.

So I’m working at Panera Bread which is one of my two current jobs. I started my shift at 11:30 and I was there until 7. In comparison to the past few weeks, that’s an hour or two longer than what I am normally scheduled for. Also I am normally put in the drive thru but today I was on front register (which I prefer anyway) and stayed there for my shift.

Now I always liked front register. Many employees hated it because they had to deal with customers face to face and admittedly Panera customers are primarily upper middle class retired couples who feel entitled to everything along with thinking they are getting ‘fancy fast food’ by going to Panera.

Fast food is fast food, live with it, anyway…

Front register was always easy. I just had to fake a smile, kill the assholes with kindness and do my best to not screw up an order. That’s mainly it, the key is… be nice. I hate sounding like a braggadocios individual but I consider myself a nice person. Especially with customers. To me its simple to force a smile and sound polite. On top of that, certain situations with a customer will make me drop my fake nice and let my genuine kindness come out.

My parents have raised me to be nice, and by the end of this story my goal is to add another reason to why everyone should be nice to other people no matter what.

Near the end of my shift, around 5:30-6:00, my friend visits me unexpectedly. While her mother waits for the food, I don’t have anymore customers so I chat and catch up with my friend. After a couple minutes go by a woman approaches the front register. I tell my friend I’ll see them later, and I ask the woman if she is ready and she starts ordering.

She begins getting her food and I have to begin my interrogation-like platter of questions about their order. Drink? 99 cent pastry? do they have a MyPanera card? Half-size Whole Size?

As I’m going through the questions she answers them with no issue and to me she seemed like a totally normal customer. After she answers one of my questions she breaks the flow and says.

“Sorry for the bad mood, I’m not having the best day ever right now.”

When people mention something like this, I break the robotic nice barrier and try to level with them.

“I totally get it, we’ve all been there, we’ve all had those days.” I say.

I keep going through the questions and she gets a chocolate chip cookie  with her meal. Now, she seemed totally nice, she didn’t seem to be in a bad mood at all and caused me no problems.

This is where my morals and company policy begin to fog a little. When I see suitable reason to give a free pastry to someone, I do so. That of course isn’t entirely what’s allowed. Someone kindy apologizing for an attitude I didn’t even notice and to say she was having a bad day? Seems suitable to me at the time.  So after she pays I lean in a little bit.

“Do you want me to get you another cookie, on me?”

She looks confused. She’s perplexed as to why I’d do something I’m not supposed to for her.

“What? You serious?” she says.

“Well I mean you said you were having a bad day so, thought I might as well try to help you out.” I replied.

Her face begins to loosen as she pieces together it’s just because I’m trying to be nice to her. She begins thanking me and she starts to seem a little too happy about this. She’s smiling and repeatedly saying thank you.

Then she shakes my hand and asks for my name. I’m thinking, ‘Uhm okay, it”s just a cookie’.  She’s saying things like ‘you have no idea how much…’ and ‘that’s so kind of you’

But then she leans in to me and very quietly and plainly tells me something.

“I have cancer.” She says.

I freeze for a moment. To start, I’ve never been good at comforting someone and I’m naturally awkward in moments like this. I say a basic involuntary response to bad news.

“Oh my God I’m so sorry.” I say, I look back and think that probably wasn’t the best response to have. But that isn’t the point.

Obviously none of you reading this saw her face but it looked so happy when I offered the extra cookie. This little act made her smile and be happy in the face of tragic news that she probably received that day. (Our Panera is across from a hospital)

The point is people don’t properly realize that every person is their own individual with their own life. We have no idea what could be going on through other people’s minds and lives. There’s no reason we should be mean to one another. There’s nothing stopping us from being the nicest version of ourselves that we can be. One day a situation like this will come to us all and we all have to chance to make someone’s day or even just be able to make them smile.

Think back to a time someone did  something nice for you… remember how you felt?

Exactly. Now make someone else feel that way.

FMUF – First Video Gig & Birthday

Before I begin, if you have an Instagram and like photography, follow @angstwithacamera for my own original photography. Comment that the blog brought you there!

Back to me getting fucked up.

Hey everyone! Welcome to the weekly segment of my mental instability being broadcasted in digital text.

So this week I’m gonna give you a broad rundown of my week.

Monday – Day in Philly, Photography, Bike Ride Through South Philly, Fun
Tuesday – Don’t Remember, Had Dinner At Nice Restauraunt
Wednesday – Don’t Remember
Thursday – Day 1 Of First Paid Videography Gig, Saw Local Production of
‘Disaster: The Musical’, Absolutely Hilarious
Friday – Finish Videography Gig

And Here We Are

So I want to discuss the Philly trip and my first videography gig and move into my favorite holiday coming tomorrow.

Okay so my friend recommends the idea that we use the IndeGo bikes through Philly to go to a thrift store and pick up some records and head back. Having lived in Philly for a few months I’m all ‘Nah we gonna get run over’ but my friend urges so I decide to go. If anyone here has seen ‘Master Of None’ Season 2 Ep 2 I believe, where Dev and Arnold Moped through the European countryside… Surprisingly that’s what I felt like biking through Philly. It was so calming and so, independent. It gave me the same feeling when I’d go to the art museum by myself back in the school year. This feeling of indefinite independence, like this was my choice and I’m having fun with my choice. I felt like I had so much ahead of me. It was super nice out and it was so fun riding with my buds throughout this magna-cosm of a city knowing we were but a flick of importance to it but we were existing none-the-less.

It was so fun, I also got some good photography done while I was there and hopefully those edited photos will be out within the next week or so.

Okay next element of fuck up-ness comes Thursday and this morning. A friend reached me and said a Theatre camp she is a counselor in needs a videographer to record one of the shows Friday. So I email the main adult in charge and get hired. They say I need to record the show and edit a DVD and burn the DVDs. Now I knew what the pay would be so I agreed to do it even though I currently have no idea how to burn a DVD. I assume it shouldn’t be that hard…

So Thursday rolls around and I’m there to essentially troubleshoot, and make sure I have time to fix anything I need to fix. They ran the show twice and Friday I need to record the final dress rehearsal and final performance. So recording it twice Thursday also help me test the battery life of both cameras I was using. So one run through we lit. Second run through… and both batteries die, and the camera both randomly stop recording in the middle of the show.

So now I’m a little nervous, but I consider it not a difficult fix to both problems, nothing google can’t solve. I find a local camera store and buy extra batteries for both cameras and I drop $120 on them which was basically all of the money I had at the time. And I googled why the cameras stop recording randomly and found a solution.

So then I’m ready to go for Friday (today). We run the dress rehearsal and they say they are gonna run one more dress rehearsal before the show. I check my cameras to switch the batteries and charge the ones I just used. I look at the camera I have hooked into the mic. And I see it.

I recorded the whole dress rehearsal without the Mic plugged in.

In other words I am Shit

So now I have to make sure I record this whole other dress rehearsal and hope I have the battery life for the final performance. I think to myself, the show lasts 50 minutes, the batteries should charge back up enough in time for the final show after that. Then I hear the director say they only running the music number and then they are opening the house and starting the show shortly after.

I’m sweating just typing this.

I was just nervous, I didn’t want to royally fuck up my first job in my actual field, even if it was something simple like recording a musical. I needed to start this off well. I’m sweating and pacing until I have to remove the batteries from the chargers and start the next recording. I was scared but God was on my side and the show went well. But my shirt was damp from nervous sweat.

So lastly, tomorrow is a very important holiday… Canada Day… and my birthday.

So peace love and turtle doves… Idk

-Mitchell Coriell

Happy Ending

To her,
He was the happy ending
She has waited for
Since she was a little girl

He was the knight in shining armor
Who always had time to take of his helmet
To kiss her neck and tickle her stomach

He was the rainbow
To block all the rain there was
And all rainy days to come

To her,
She finally could write in the end
To her story
With a ‘Happily ever after’
But,

He held the pen.

-Mitchell Coriell 6/6/17

Lost

I would search for you
In every song I ever heard
In every line I ever wrote
In every dark corner of my soul
In every beat of my heart
All I would find is
Shadows and Screams
Barricades of forgotten lust
and flickers of your extinguished eyes
I though I used the maps
and directions
to help me find you
But perhaps you’re meant
To remain lost

– Mitchell Coriell 6/6/17

FMUF – Casablanca [First Time]

Week 6 is rollin’ in as the 1st week I almost didn’t make the cut off for my post.

Go Me
*insert confetti bomb*

Ya mans had a busy day of adventurin’ before I came to write this.

Sidetrack Story Time: I went to an abandoned mountain resort and went under a bride for photography stuff. It was dope and really fun!

Anyway, let’s discuss what I did this past Wednesday.  My hometown has recently made this big arts/events center and it has been super successful. The area has it’s own movie theater and since it’s technically one of those indie art house places, they show new independent movies, a ‘Rocky Horror Picture Show’ cult re-enactment, and monthly series ex. every first Friday is a horror movie.

So on Wednesdays I suppose they do a classic film series and this past Wednesday they were showing ‘Casablanca’. At the time I have not seen ‘Casablanca’ and as a film major I always put it near the top of my ‘to-watch’ list.

Also I am a hopeless romantic so I have personally always wanted to see the quintessential romance movie or the classic romance movie. The whole week I was trying to find people to go with to see it with me or even find a date for the night. Not even really a date date I just thought it’d be cute to go with one of my female friends and just enjoy ourselves… so yeah, basically a date but whatever don’t look at me, moving on.

Throughout the week people all had plans and didn’t want to so on so forth. But that day, was also the first day of summer, which meant a bunch of fast food places had discounts on things. So I call up my one friend and we plan to hit up Moe’s and Jake’s Wayback for double points on the Moe’s app and free Jr. Milkshakes. On the way we call a friend and have him join us.

We get to grubbin’ and I ask them to come see the movie with me and they say yes. Twenty minutes later my other guy friend asks me to hang so I drag him along too.

So now we got the boys (I will make a post in the future to better establish the boys) coming to this movie with me because I couldn’t get any girls.

“Bros before hoes, why? Because your bros are always there for you, they have got your back after your hoe rips your heart out for no good reason.” – Michael Scott / “The Office”

Now I go online to check the times and make sure I was right with what I remembered it being 7:30 but yet again my own mind fails me and it was 7:15 so as the great Jimmy Nuetron once said…

Gotta Blast™

I’m nyoomin’ the fuck down the road to pick up my last friend in time but of course life knew we were running late so we hit every damn red light to get there and end up getting into the movie about ten minutes late. We get our seats in the front since in a movie theater those are always for the late people apparently.

We sit down and watch the movie & let me tell you I didn’t cry but I almost did.

Almost…

Now the ‘fuck-up-ery’ begins with my thoughts of the movie and then extends to something I noticed while watching the movie.

To begin I mean it’s ‘Casablanca’…. enough said, the nostalgia of the classic films pervades from the screen and infects the audience with a grandiose and elegant tone in the style and B&W grain. My favorite thing about those old films are the single shots of the female leads where the shot almost looks fuzzy but the gaze the woman gives is utterly entrancing. A divine set of beauty and comfort in one look. It’s so fascinating. The story is very straightforward but intense. The universal relatability of a love lost and re-found. The classic ‘one that got away’ story. I love the acceptance of the trope that everyone has that one love that continues to haunt them throughout their life. The one that got away.

The thing that I noticed throughout the film was that the most effective parts of the movie for me were the lines that I already knew. You know the ones, the classic lines.

“Play it Sam, play ‘As Time Goes By'”

“Here’s looking at you kid.”

“We’ll always have Paris.”

These lines I was already well aware of, being a film person I watch videos of ‘best movie quotes’ etc. so I knew most of them. And I realized that these lines gave me the most goosebumps and warm fuzzies. It got me thinking on film expectations and whether they work or do not work.

In the case of Casablanca with the added backstories of the characters, it all gives levity to their performance & their line delivery and makes them so much better. I found it so interesting that  those lines now contextualized makes such a difference. And the film is so melodramatic but it also works so well. It’s a classic, and sometimes the classics fuck me up.

-Mitchell Coriell

FMUF – Bops Pt. 1

We’re 1/20 our way to 100 FMUF posts guys!!

YAH YEET YAH

Okay last week was heavy introspective topics on the human condition or at least my take on art’s impact on the human condition. Well not that deep but none the less,  it held some deep concepts and interesting views on things so this week we getting fun.

This week we’re going to talk about bops.

Mitchell what is a bop?

I’m glad you asked imaginary fan. [As if I have real fans at this point]

A bop, to me is a song you fuck with heavy. In non slang terms, a song you really enjoy and can blast in your car and instantly get you excited or in a good mood.

Why do I like bops? Because who the fuck doesn’t? You can’t tell me someone said ‘Nah I don’t like that song that makes me smile and want to dance in a freeway.’  – That shit don’t fly with me.

Back in my first semester freshman year I was in a rough patch and then later decided in my second semester I’d get myself out of it. So I asked some friends who I feel are really happy or have gone through what I was dealing with to help me. All of them mentioned music is a big factor of this. I couldn’t listen to ‘My Chemical Romance’ or ‘Pierce the Veil’ and be happier. Glorifying sadness in music isn’t going to make me smile.

So I made a playlist – ‘Cheer Up (B)Mitch’ on Spotify

I use the B in case I need to be aggressive and tell my little bitch self to cheer up or if I’m being self- supportive and kindly saying Mitch, cheer up.

Since I’ve been able to become a lot happier lately I’ve been on the hunt for my bops.

I’m a Slut For Bops ™

I thought it’d be cool to just throw some bops out there.

Now you’re probably wondering how these bops ‘fuck me up’ and let me explain.

I have been tired as hell these past few weeks with work, gym, and life and if I’m driving home from a long day at work I need a pick me up and these songs come on and I literally sometimes will say

‘OOOOOOOOOOO FUCK ME UP _*insert song here*_’

Like this is a fun form of fuck-up-ery. The kind that is like yes, song I am at your disposal take me on a dopamine overdose with infectious rhythms. Putting my trust in art and music to cheer me up which that alone if dwelled on and looked into is a pretty interesting facet of humanity but the entire dichotomy of music can be discussed when this blog is famous… which won’t be long.

Anyway… here are some of my bops and why they are bops to me. No Particular Order.

  • “She’s American” – The 1975 – Okay, The 1975’s upbeat songs are all lowkey bops but this specifically has a very catchy hook and dance-able beat. The hook is also fun to belt in the car. You can’t help but shake your head to the rhythm. Also this had an excellent ‘Oh hell yeah’ moment at their concert when I heard the opening instrumental.
  • “Kiss Me Thru The Phone” – Soulja Boy – HEAR ME OUT HERE. That opening mantra and hearing the ‘Soulja Boy Tell Em’ intro… you can’t tell me if you heard that at the club you wouldn’t grab your friend by the neck and drag their ass out to dance with you. Super dumb song don’t get me wrong. This is a song where you can kind of laugh at it while you’re getting down. Can’t deny it’s super catchy, and carefree. Also if you randomly play this in front of your friends it’ll probably cause a good laugh. I high key will die for this song.
  • “Another Day Of Sun” – La La Land Cast – If you don’t like musical music, skip this one but if you do… or if you’ve seen La La Land you already know my guy. Excellent opening song to the movie telling the stories of all the young people who travel to LA to start their careers which likely will fail (me in four years). The song is a little slow in the middle but once the dance break comes in and you hear the tempo increase and music and vocal repeat until a big crescendo. Now the very end of this song is what I adore, the tempo is almost too fast but is still excellently controlled and makes you want to dance on top of you car.  Also just the increase in tempo alone gets the heart rate up and gets the listener excited and anxious for more.
  • “Over The Rainbow” – Israel Kamakawiwo’ole – (The version at the end of ‘Fifty First Dates’) – No reason needed, just listen and try not to get goosebumps and be happy yo be alive and simply smile at the simplicity of life and our world.
  • “Girls Just Want To Have Fun” – Cyndi Lauper – This song is the closest I’ve ever been to dancing alone in public… and reminder I’m a guy, the song isn’t even directed to me. This song is a classic and another great one to belt randomly and also another dance-able beat. I’m a guy but I still get so lit over this like hell fucking yeah girl have fun you’re doing great sweetie.
  • “LA Devotee” – Panic! At The Disco –  Extra Points because this an amazing song to run to at the gym. Okay Brendon Urie’s vocal cords are platinum. We can start there. I’m a ho for any song about LA or California. Song has an insane hook and an excellent bridge into an amazing key change at the end. It’s a little repetive but if you love the hook like I do, it won’t matter.

 

 

David Lynch’s ‘Eraserhead’ – Thoughts

So last week I finally got around to seeing a film I’ve been wanting to see for years. That film is David Lynch’s film ‘ Eraserhead. I can’t say that I thoroughly enjoyed the film yet I cannot say that I disliked the film. This being my first Lynch film, it offered so much to ingest in one viewing I had severe difficulty fully wrapping my head around it as the credits began to roll. A few days have gone by and certain elements of the film still perplex me, however I have managed to gather some thoughts on the film and I’d like to share them.

I want to begin by addressing what I found to be the most impressive aspect of the film. Which for me was the framing and  spectacular low light. Almost the entirety of the film is in a low-lit, and dim setting or room and Lynch still manages to have easily outlined subject and manageable viewing. The lighting at times was artificial where a fully dark room held a single light to illuminate an actor’s face but mainly it held to be very realistic with lamps and hall lights to be the source of the dim atmosphere. Along with the impressiveness visually of the lighting, it should also be discussed that the dimness of the film helps to create a very eerie and consistently uncomfortable foreboding tone throughout the film. Starting with it’s dreamlike opening and (what I assume to be a symbolic birth/conception of the baby or Henry’s journey into adulthood) opening shots, Lynch creates a sense that something is wrong or at least crooked, which as I have come to believe, most of his films do.

Now the framing, I’m a slut for symmetric framing which evidently were a majority of the exterior shots in the film. The black and white aesthetic along with the building and location scouting allow these shots to create an image for the entire outside world Henry lives in. A world driven by industrialization but the industry’s gritty underbelly where these characters live their lives. The combination of framing and lighting allowed the film to very easily direct our attention to specifically what we as audience members should be looking at.

The other specific element of the film that I feel should be addressed is the film’s stark and often over-exaggerated sound design. The film used plenty of noticeably foley-ed sounds throughout it along with prolonged sounds that carried over entire bits of dialogue that most films would muffle out. Lynch rather allows the viewer to dwell on these sounds to better understand and articulate the world surrounding the character and better impact the tone of the film. The film never lets up in terms of sound, there almost always is some sort of noise. This helps isolate the viewer in an essence of never being able to breath which thus signals us that we must remain alert and on edge throughout the film. The over exaggerated unpleasant sounds allow the unease of the film to flourish. The uncanny perplexity of the film’s universe helps viewers understand the oddity they are witness to and better disable their own understanding. The sound is distracting and yet helps fill in the hole of what type of world they live in: disorienting, cold, peculiar, and unsettling.

Now for my overall thoughts… It must be kept in mind that this film was hyped up to me for years by various YouTube videos and internet top tens of films. So I went into this film expecting something grand. Did I view something grand? It’s hard to say. As I mentioned I adored the sound, framing, and lighting of the film. But then, there’s the plot and yes this film does have a plot however, it blurs when it goes to what exactly the film was trying to say. Most films carry a message and people watch to receive the message or they watch to simply be entertained. Now this film is not a conventionally ‘entertaining’ film so one expects the peculiarity to hold some omnipresent message or some well-realized style to serve some purpose or meaning.

But I don’t think Eraserhead really has that.

It is a good movie. But it’s message doesn’t spring at you. After viewing some video essays and interview with Lynch I believe Lynch creates art to better emulate the freedom of interpretation rather than his own freedom of expression. Lynch wants us to be confused so we have to put on our big boy pants and grant our own meanings from what we experience. Which as I will explain, becomes quite meta for my interpretation of the film.

*insert David Lynch Hipster meme here*

Okay so as I started the film I essentially knew what it was about, I was familiar that the protagonist has a baby and the baby is a breathing baked potato / dinosaur hybrid and shit goes down from there.

In totality, I think the film is an overall cautionary tale of growing up too quickly or just adult hood in general.

The opening to me seemed to be a cross of a tonal overture and a symbolic montage showing the conception of the child to come later in the film. However a small part of the film, I believe the man covered in boils peering out the window is either some manifestation of ‘father time’ or a God figure, watching over the film’s world and pulling levers to designate what to come next.

The film is essentially about how Henry’s already boring and insincere life gets taken for a whacky trip once this unexpected baby gets introduced.  I think the reason Henry looks confused in almost every other shot he is in is because he basically is confused. He’s unsure of himself and the world around him because he grew up too quickly. He quietly watches the life around him crash and rock. The unexpected pregnancy alone can cause a normal young adult to throw into stressful hysterics, however one must attempt yo go through with the parenting. The mom leaves due to the baby’s crying and leaves Henry to care for it himself. Henry is too young to understand the life he is living and then constantly is searching for answers in a world that doesn’t even really supply questions. Similar to the film itself. It’s set up to give an expectation that is has some deep answers when in reality, it was even looking for questions to answer. Meta right?

Throughout the film, Henry repeatedly gets visited by a singing woman who lives in his air conditioner. (A sentence that would only sound feasible if it were about a Lynch film)

The woman first just stands on a stage crushing these fetal looking things that are reminiscent of Henry’s baby and later sings ‘In heaven, everything is fine’. This is showing one road of temptation for Henry. Henry is reminding himself there is the option to simply kill the baby and he subconsciously supports this with the claim that everything will be okay because he’s in heaven and according to air conditioner lady that’s totally fine.

Henry experiences the mental temptations as he undergoes and falls under mental and physical temptation by sleeping with the woman in the apartment opposite of him.

Henry eventually does go crazy and kill the baby and after goes insane through guilt and as a result & what I have to guess, either kills himself from the guilt or simply dies under shock and stress. He is lastly greeted by the air conditioner girl with a warm embrace surrounded by bright white light which directly contrasts the entirety of the film beforehand which supports the idea he is in a different world or at least a different place at the film’s end. So I conclude he dies at the end.

There is one sequence I do not understand however. A dream sequence where Henry’s head pops off and is then transported to a shack that uses his brain as an eraser. I’m going on a limb but I think the sequence has to do with a theme that adults can’t simply rid of their mistakes like an eraser or you can’t erase your thoughts? I say can’t rather than can since this sequence reveals to be a dream later on so maybe Henry wishes his thought or mind or life could be erased from memory or literally erased.

My only complaint in the film is it’s pacing, which is more for the style and ambiance of the world but man this is a bit of a slow movie at times.

‘Eraserhead’ tells of the dangers of growing up. From struggling responsibilities or temptations, or even the mundanity of repetition of boredom of blue collar life.

But then again I only saw it once what the fuck do I know?

8.5 E.T. Baked Potato Babies / 10

-Mitch